As I write this “Pastor’s Article” for the newsletter, I am doing so from a different perspective than usual. I’m sitting at home with my left leg bandaged up from surgery three days ago, under the influence of pain medication (which makes me sleepy but doesn’t take too much of the pain away), and struggling to write this article. Usually I enjoy writing the front page article ‘from the pastor’ and the words flow rather freely. Actually, I have a message I want to share, but my brain isn’t cooperating very well. The message I want to share is about seeing things from a different perspective beyond what I am currently experiencing.

In the new ministry recently added to Trinity Lutheran Church, Stephen Ministry, we talk about “care-givers,” and “care-receivers.” Care-givers are those who are trained in the art of listening, reflecting and responding to those who are experiencing a variety of challenges and situations (grief, loss, anxiety…). Obviously care receivers are those who are receiving the confidential care and ministry of a trained Stephen Minister. Certainly pastors, counselors and other specifically trained professionals are care-givers as well. For over thirty years now I have been serving as a care-giver. Occasionally, like now, I have been a care-receiver. I like to think that I’m a pretty fair and competent care-giver, but I know that I am a lousy care-receiver! There are many programs that will train one to be a care-giver, like Stephen Ministry, but I don’t know of any that train someone on how to be a care-receiver. I suppose that sounds a little ridiculous, but I’m not so sure it really is. Not everyone who goes through a divorce or loses a loved one is open and willing to accept help and care from someone else. Unfortunately that applies to me, even when I know I could benefit from it. Anyone know of a good six week care-receiver course -or- a Saturday morning workshop?

So, first I apologize to all who have called and reached out to me in my current battle with cancer (melanoma), and I’ve not seemed too receptive. I truly am receptive and appreciative of all the kind words, care and prayer. I especially appreciate the many intercessions made on my behalf regarding grief over my wife’s passing and my recent health problem. Forgive me, though, when I have seemed unreceptive to advice and assistance. I’m not quite sure why, but I feel as though I’m imposing on people by accepting their help and assistance.

Secondly, as I view the care process from the ‘receiving perspective’ rather than the giving side, I hope I remember a few things when I am ministering and caring for others from my usual perspective. There seems to be a certain amount of power and control involved in care-giving, and vice-a-versa, a loss of power and control (perhaps) in carereceiving. We all need and benefit from the help of others from time to time. But, ask yourself, which one would you rather be? I think it takes a very well grounded and mature person to know and accept help from others! This goes far beyond my own recent perceptions. I have heard how others have felt when they found themselves needing assistance from others. It’s sometimes referred to as being “needy.” It may make one feel good to do something for another, but it may actually make them feel ‘not so good’ even though they need help! Care-givers need to keep this in mind and respect the feelings and being of the care-receiver.

Additionally we need to acknowledge that we are not exclusively a care giver or a care receiver! We are both at one time or another – sometimes even at the same time! In her battle with cancer, my late wife had many care-givers including me. At the same time she was an amazing care-giver, especially to me! In his comparing the church to a “body” with many parts, I think the Apostle Paul was saying that at times the ‘hand’ serves the body (giver) yet at the very same time it is served (receiver) by the other parts of the body.

Obviously we are all care receivers of Jesus’ love and redemption when He gave His life for us. Yet Jesus calls each one of us to follow His example serving others as He did (served us). Now this is the genuinely different perspective! It’s not simply from the giver or receiver point of view. It’s from the pure, perfect and divine point of view of our Lord! Jesus calls us to serve others as He served. He accentuated this point on the last night of His earthly life when He washed the disciples’ feet. I think He also called us to “be served” as well. Peter did not want Jesus to wash his feet because it didn’t seem right to him. Jesus, after all, was his master and teacher, his Lord! Yet Jesus insisted that it was necessary for him (Peter) to be washed by the Lord – to be a care receiver. We all need Jesus and His redemptive care! But we also need to be receivers of others’ love and service as well. Perhaps we need to be receivers so that others can be the servers and givers too!

May the Lord help us to see and live from a “different perspective!” We need to see things from the vantage point of others. More importantly we MUST see life and ministry from our Lord’s perspective! Stephen Ministers have been trained as care-givers from a Biblical point of view and God pleasing perspective. Let us pray for their ministry among us.

~ Pastor Dennis Krueger